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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

tumbleweed ivy,





The wall outside is
ivy covered, hiding
its energetic lines
Quiet words written 
from a hospital bed
seeing nature thrive
With rampant ivy
our hard-headed concrete 
realities mesh
Disconnectedly
I see my rose tint lense
shattering in light
No need for seeing
even less for writing
happy tumbleweed








© 2011 Poetry by Paul Dorkin. All rights reserved.





:-)

26 comments:

  1. That's a thoughtful and beautiful juxtaposition -the clinging "rampant" ivy, and the free-wheeling tumbleweed. BTW, I hope you aren't writing from a hospital bed :(

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  2. Thanks Li, I'm fine :) This one is drawn from a haiku written a few years ago - the first four lines

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  3. Love it! This is seriously good poetry with strong imagery tinted by internal conflict and emotional toil. My favorite kind!

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  4. Love the phrase "tumbleweed ivy"! Thanks for visiting my page. This site is worth adding to my Great Poets list.

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  5. I love how the cadence of this poem tumbles along - just like tumbleweed.

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  6. Things that I like in your poem: 1) The opposition messy ivy/energetic lines of that wall. 2) The opposition hospital bed/nature thrive. In fact, you disguise a bit your symmetrical side. :) You repeat the idea of opposition 4 times, in your first four disguised tercets. In the end you express a final opposition, between what you eventually would like to do (seeing/writing) and you don't or, even better, between the "happy tumbleweed" and the unhappy you... Sometimes I like to read poems this way. And if you are in that hospital bed, get better soon!

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  7. Seabell, thanks for the analysis, to write of oppositions - the original haiku arose from a dark time with poetry a means to engage with hope, happiness lies somewhere in the middle ;) thanks all for commenting!

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  8. happy tumbleweed.... if only more tumbleweed was made the most of... :] thanks. :] xx

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  9. very stunning words.

    love your vocabulary, smiles.
    happy rally.

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  10. Its amazing how ivy can both choke and bring life to a man made structure. It is a great read my friend and I hope your recovery goes well :).

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  11. i have nothing to say but "WOW".

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  12. A poem to read over and over again. Ivy conquers all, such tenacity.

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  13. 5 times a great haiku does a beautiful poem make.

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  14. It reminds me of my school, I've just finished. Nostalgic...

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  15. it seems that the fight is given up within
    and acceptance breathes out
    simply is~
    that's a peaceful place

    earlier this week speaking with my doctor i turned the conversation on him. who asks him? who cares for him? i told him i was sad for the small and high window in his office which stared longingly up at the pine. larger windows, i said. why not? he said he dreamed of a better place. told me to build an ashram, a health center focused on the healing instead of whatever it is our health system is focused on - the prolonging? i said, oh, i don't organize and build. i just go. but i think of all of the patients and all of that ivy. i think of the doctors too.

    i'm glad you are well right now.

    xo
    erin

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  16. very deep and thoughtful write...
    well penned

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  17. breathe in strife
    breathe out the universe
    not an acceptance of an end
    but at rest in being

    nice to hear from you erin- I am very well :-) !!

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  18. tumbleweed ivy,
    The wall outside is
    ivy covered, hiding
    its energetic lines
    ...
    Nicely penned!!!

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  19. Beautiful poem and good look on your recovery =) I have always loved the duality of ivy tenacious and eroding yet graceful in appearance I wasn't even managing a graceful facade during my hospital stay I was just cranky lol

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  20. Just to clarify, thank you all for your encouragement and get well wishes - but I am not ill at the moment, the poem really does relate to a haiku written three years ago and since then I've been very well :-) To write the poem I took an old haiku of mine and expanded it to see where it would go. Thanks again!

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  21. And yes when I was in - I was also really cranky :-)

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  22. That reminds me of drawing beach scenes on hospital windows with lipstick. Sad, itchy, wonderful.

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